If you are asking the question you are probably in need of some help. The second part of the question might be... where do I start?
I really think everyone can benefit from anger management. It isn't just about anger management or bad behavior. Anger management is a whole treatment plan about getting yourself into a new, healthier place. Let's face it... no one has perfect behavior.
If you are feeling as though you could use some help with your behavior it is time to get the help you need. There are many ways to get help for your emotions. Online programs are usually self paced. For some people self paced online programs are the answer. You work through the program on your own with the guidance of a trained facilitator. AngerManagementOnline.com was the first online anger management program and is still a one of kind program for anger management. There are also many therapists and counselors who specialize in anger management face to face or via the telephone. You need to figure out which way is best for you. How will you learn best? Is a group setting better for you? One on one? Face to face? Online and anonymous? It really is about your style.
If you are interested in free support group online check out angermanagementonline.ning.com. For online anger management check out angermanagementonline.com.
If you need help, get it. Help is always available.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Question of the Day: How do I know if I have an anger problem?
I get this question a lot when someone thinks they may have an issue with anger. If you are asking the question, my first thought is there is probably something going on in your life that is making you question yourself and your behavior.
A few quick questions to ask yourself:
Are others in your life telling you that you have a problem with anger?
Are co-workers asking you to look into your behavior?
Do you feel okay about the way you represent yourself in the world?
Do you think there are better ways to handle your emotions, but you aren't sure where to begin?
These are just a few of the many questions you can ask yourself to better understand if you need help managing your anger.
Anger management is really about so many things. People are often surprised when they take my anger management class and they realize that anger management is more than just learning new behaviors.
Because anger is a secondary emotion we know that something is usually happening first to trigger the anger. That is the key component in anger management. What is happening first to create the secondary emotion of anger?
If you are questioning yourself if you may have a problem with anger then you probably could learn some new ways of looking at your emotions and behavior.
Find an anger management class that you feel comfortable taking. It could be an online class or face-to-face counseling. Which ever learning style is better for you is the right place for you. At angermanagementonline.com we offer several different online classes as well as face-to-face and telephone counseling. We also offer an anger evaluation you can take in your own home.
If you are asking yourself about anger chances are you need help. Reach out and find the help you need so that you can grow in your life and move on in positive solutions.
A few quick questions to ask yourself:
Are others in your life telling you that you have a problem with anger?
Are co-workers asking you to look into your behavior?
Do you feel okay about the way you represent yourself in the world?
Do you think there are better ways to handle your emotions, but you aren't sure where to begin?
These are just a few of the many questions you can ask yourself to better understand if you need help managing your anger.
Anger management is really about so many things. People are often surprised when they take my anger management class and they realize that anger management is more than just learning new behaviors.
Because anger is a secondary emotion we know that something is usually happening first to trigger the anger. That is the key component in anger management. What is happening first to create the secondary emotion of anger?
If you are questioning yourself if you may have a problem with anger then you probably could learn some new ways of looking at your emotions and behavior.
Find an anger management class that you feel comfortable taking. It could be an online class or face-to-face counseling. Which ever learning style is better for you is the right place for you. At angermanagementonline.com we offer several different online classes as well as face-to-face and telephone counseling. We also offer an anger evaluation you can take in your own home.
If you are asking yourself about anger chances are you need help. Reach out and find the help you need so that you can grow in your life and move on in positive solutions.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Transitioning Your Children Between Two Homes
How to pick up and drop off your children from your ex-spouse.
Transitioning children after a divorce is a tough thing. You don’t want to see the ex, yet you are curious to see him/her. You want to hurt the ex because of the misery they put you through, but your kids are there listening and watching your every move. How do you act when you drop off your kids? Do you say hello? How can you avoid feeling awkward, but still show your kids you can be a good ex-partner and a great parent?
If tension is high and tempers are flaring, arrange to have pick ups and drop offs at a day care, school or a neutral third party to avoid contact with the other parent until things get more peaceful. Regardless of where you meet, prepare your children for their transitions between homes. Let them know in advance which days are dad’s and which days are mom’s.
On the transitions days try to follow a routine that’s predictable and comfortable. Be mindful of what you say on your way to the transition and during the transition. If you feel your anger level start to flare, take a few deep breathes and back away. There should be no fighting or adult issues when you transition children. If you have things to discuss with your ex do it at a different time, through email, text or phone calls, but not when you are dropping off your children. Children do not like conflict and will want to avoid changing homes if it means mom and dad are “just going to fight.”
If you slip up and start to argue or fight during the transition, remind your children that adults have a hard time adjusting to divorce too, and that they may still be showing their anger or sadness through arguing and bad behavior. Kids like to know that adults are human too and they make mistakes. But if you shove your feelings under the rug and pretend like it didn’t happen it will leave your kids feeling confused and not sure if they can trust your behavior.
There will be times when things are forgotten during the transition either on purpose or mistakenly left behind. Remember, this is not a perfect world, life happens; some forgetfulness, some lateness, some changes in schedules, and other unforeseen problems are bound to occur. Adopt an “I can handle it attitude” and move on. Remember, this is about your kids. You are not married to the same partner anymore so it all about your children. Make them comfortable to go between homes and they will enjoy the process much more.
If you would like more information on parenting, parenting classes or therapy, please visit us parentingclassonline.net .
Transitioning children after a divorce is a tough thing. You don’t want to see the ex, yet you are curious to see him/her. You want to hurt the ex because of the misery they put you through, but your kids are there listening and watching your every move. How do you act when you drop off your kids? Do you say hello? How can you avoid feeling awkward, but still show your kids you can be a good ex-partner and a great parent?
If tension is high and tempers are flaring, arrange to have pick ups and drop offs at a day care, school or a neutral third party to avoid contact with the other parent until things get more peaceful. Regardless of where you meet, prepare your children for their transitions between homes. Let them know in advance which days are dad’s and which days are mom’s.
On the transitions days try to follow a routine that’s predictable and comfortable. Be mindful of what you say on your way to the transition and during the transition. If you feel your anger level start to flare, take a few deep breathes and back away. There should be no fighting or adult issues when you transition children. If you have things to discuss with your ex do it at a different time, through email, text or phone calls, but not when you are dropping off your children. Children do not like conflict and will want to avoid changing homes if it means mom and dad are “just going to fight.”
If you slip up and start to argue or fight during the transition, remind your children that adults have a hard time adjusting to divorce too, and that they may still be showing their anger or sadness through arguing and bad behavior. Kids like to know that adults are human too and they make mistakes. But if you shove your feelings under the rug and pretend like it didn’t happen it will leave your kids feeling confused and not sure if they can trust your behavior.
There will be times when things are forgotten during the transition either on purpose or mistakenly left behind. Remember, this is not a perfect world, life happens; some forgetfulness, some lateness, some changes in schedules, and other unforeseen problems are bound to occur. Adopt an “I can handle it attitude” and move on. Remember, this is about your kids. You are not married to the same partner anymore so it all about your children. Make them comfortable to go between homes and they will enjoy the process much more.
If you would like more information on parenting, parenting classes or therapy, please visit us parentingclassonline.net .
Monday, November 30, 2009
Anger Management and De Stressing the Holidays
At this time of the year I get asked the same question over and over: Why do I see others running around enjoying the Holidays and I can't seem to find any joy! Believe it or not the Holidays are not happy times for many people. While some people jump around feeling giddy with expectations and are willing to run themselves ragged partying, others are feeling down and blue. You might ask how can anyone feel down around the Holidays?
The Holidays bring up a lot of feelings for many people which are not joyous. They may have lost a family member, old childhood wounds surface, faced with too many expections causing anger and depression. The list could go on and on, but just know that if you are not feeling overly excited about the Holidays... you are not alone. Holidays can be the best of times and the worst of times.
One way to take down the Holiday stress is to lighten up on expectations, set boundaries and know when to say no. Try to understand that other people are feeling joy, but you can have your feelings too. It's okay to have your feelings and it is okay for others to find joy.
Take the stress down a notch this year.
Expectations: Figure out what is really important to you. Ask yourself: What feels good to you? By that I mean if running around to every single party is stressing you out and you are not finding any joy in participating... limit the number of parties you attend. You can say no. People will get over it. Family will even get over it in time.
One thing I hear a lot from adult clients is they really don't find any joy in going home to their parent's home. There is chaos, fighting, and arguing that may bring back bad, old childhood feelings. Instead of forcing yourself into that situation stay home and start new traditions with your own family. Taking one year off to find your old Holiday joy is worth it!
Allow others to help you: You can't do it all. Delegate is the word over the Holidays. Have family gatherings, but don't provide all of the food and entertainment. Ask each family member to bring a dish or favorite game. If you don't find joy in it.... don't do it.
Agendas: Don't have hidden agendas or plan big surprises. Big surprises are fun to plan, but they only add more stress on you and if they are not well received they add stress on everyone. Keep it simple. State your plans. Tell people the time and where to go. Who comes, comes. Who doesn't come.... that's okay. Maybe they are finding their own joy too.
Don't engage with difficult family members: It seems that the most difficult of family members surface during the Holidays. Don't allow yourself to get sucked into negativity. Remain pleasant, but detach yourself from the situation.
The whole idea of the Holidays is to make them more meaningful, but less stressful. Know your limits. Set boundaries and if it doesn't feel good, don't do it. Start new family traditions that you can enjoy with your family. The most important thing during the Holidays is that you have a new season of peace, love and family warmth.
The Holidays bring up a lot of feelings for many people which are not joyous. They may have lost a family member, old childhood wounds surface, faced with too many expections causing anger and depression. The list could go on and on, but just know that if you are not feeling overly excited about the Holidays... you are not alone. Holidays can be the best of times and the worst of times.
One way to take down the Holiday stress is to lighten up on expectations, set boundaries and know when to say no. Try to understand that other people are feeling joy, but you can have your feelings too. It's okay to have your feelings and it is okay for others to find joy.
Take the stress down a notch this year.
Expectations: Figure out what is really important to you. Ask yourself: What feels good to you? By that I mean if running around to every single party is stressing you out and you are not finding any joy in participating... limit the number of parties you attend. You can say no. People will get over it. Family will even get over it in time.
One thing I hear a lot from adult clients is they really don't find any joy in going home to their parent's home. There is chaos, fighting, and arguing that may bring back bad, old childhood feelings. Instead of forcing yourself into that situation stay home and start new traditions with your own family. Taking one year off to find your old Holiday joy is worth it!
Allow others to help you: You can't do it all. Delegate is the word over the Holidays. Have family gatherings, but don't provide all of the food and entertainment. Ask each family member to bring a dish or favorite game. If you don't find joy in it.... don't do it.
Agendas: Don't have hidden agendas or plan big surprises. Big surprises are fun to plan, but they only add more stress on you and if they are not well received they add stress on everyone. Keep it simple. State your plans. Tell people the time and where to go. Who comes, comes. Who doesn't come.... that's okay. Maybe they are finding their own joy too.
Don't engage with difficult family members: It seems that the most difficult of family members surface during the Holidays. Don't allow yourself to get sucked into negativity. Remain pleasant, but detach yourself from the situation.
The whole idea of the Holidays is to make them more meaningful, but less stressful. Know your limits. Set boundaries and if it doesn't feel good, don't do it. Start new family traditions that you can enjoy with your family. The most important thing during the Holidays is that you have a new season of peace, love and family warmth.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Anger Evaluation
What is an anger evaluation and why might you take one?
An anger evaluation is a great place to start when trying to understand your anger and how you express your angry feelings. A loved one might be telling you that you have a problem with your anger. Someone at work may be requesting that you take a look at your angry behavior. How do you look at yourself and your anger and then try to make changes if you aren’t even sure if you have an anger management problem at all?
Getting involved in an anger management program is a great place to wind up, but how do you get to the depth of your anger and understand the key areas that you need to look at to make changes in your behavior? How can you make changes quickly and efficiently if you don’t know what to change? An anger evaluation will tell you exactly where your problem areas are and how you can move forward to change them.
At http://www.angerevaluation.com we offer an anger evaluation that can be taken in the privacy of your own home. We send you the materials and you take the evaluation whenever you want. You send it back to us and we will analyze your evaluation and let you know exactly where your problem areas in behavior are and how to make changes.
We measure two major components – state and trait anger. State anger is defined as a psychological emotional state or condition marked by subjective feelings that vary in intensity from mild irritation or annoyance to intense fury and rage. Trait anger is defined in terms of individual differences in the disposition to perceive a wide range of situations as annoying or frustrating and by the tendency to respond to such situations with elevations in state anger.
Our anger evaluation is designed for adults only and is analyzed by licensed therapists. After you receive the results of your evaluation, we can make referrals for further help or if you are interested in an online program we would refer you to http://www.angermanagementonline.com AngerManagementOnline.com is a division of Center of Solutions, LLC.
An anger evaluation is a great place to start when trying to understand your anger and how you express your angry feelings. A loved one might be telling you that you have a problem with your anger. Someone at work may be requesting that you take a look at your angry behavior. How do you look at yourself and your anger and then try to make changes if you aren’t even sure if you have an anger management problem at all?
Getting involved in an anger management program is a great place to wind up, but how do you get to the depth of your anger and understand the key areas that you need to look at to make changes in your behavior? How can you make changes quickly and efficiently if you don’t know what to change? An anger evaluation will tell you exactly where your problem areas are and how you can move forward to change them.
At http://www.angerevaluation.com we offer an anger evaluation that can be taken in the privacy of your own home. We send you the materials and you take the evaluation whenever you want. You send it back to us and we will analyze your evaluation and let you know exactly where your problem areas in behavior are and how to make changes.
We measure two major components – state and trait anger. State anger is defined as a psychological emotional state or condition marked by subjective feelings that vary in intensity from mild irritation or annoyance to intense fury and rage. Trait anger is defined in terms of individual differences in the disposition to perceive a wide range of situations as annoying or frustrating and by the tendency to respond to such situations with elevations in state anger.
Our anger evaluation is designed for adults only and is analyzed by licensed therapists. After you receive the results of your evaluation, we can make referrals for further help or if you are interested in an online program we would refer you to http://www.angermanagementonline.com AngerManagementOnline.com is a division of Center of Solutions, LLC.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Anger and Your Health
What happens to your body when you feel angry?
By Kathy Garber
When you experience anger your body goes into a fight or flight response. Chemicals are released into your bloodstream to prime you up for the fight or help you flee the situation. These powerful chemicals cause your body to undergo extreme changes.
Breathing begins to increases and blood is detoured away from the internal organs you don’t use in a fight and shunts it to your muscles for strength.
Your pupils dilate causing your vision to sharpen and your awareness intensifies.
Your rational mind is disengaged and your thoughts become distorted.
You are now in your anger attack mode and ready to fight.
The fight or flight reaction gears you up for battle, however most times there really is no battle to fight.
When you face real dangers in the world, this fight or flight response is invaluable to your survival, but when you are in a constant state of fight or flight day after day your health can begin to suffer. The powerful chemicals accumulate and make your body pay a price for being in a constant high energy state.
People with chronic anger are more likely to have suppressed immune systems.
Chronic anger can cause gastrointestinal problems such as irritable bowel syndrome and ulcers.
Chronic anger can lead to heart attacks and strokes.
Chronic anger affects your blood pressure.
If you decide that you are tired of being in a high energy state without a cause, join AngerManagementOnline.com and learn new ways to calm yourself before your health begins to suffer.
By Kathy Garber
When you experience anger your body goes into a fight or flight response. Chemicals are released into your bloodstream to prime you up for the fight or help you flee the situation. These powerful chemicals cause your body to undergo extreme changes.
Breathing begins to increases and blood is detoured away from the internal organs you don’t use in a fight and shunts it to your muscles for strength.
Your pupils dilate causing your vision to sharpen and your awareness intensifies.
Your rational mind is disengaged and your thoughts become distorted.
You are now in your anger attack mode and ready to fight.
The fight or flight reaction gears you up for battle, however most times there really is no battle to fight.
When you face real dangers in the world, this fight or flight response is invaluable to your survival, but when you are in a constant state of fight or flight day after day your health can begin to suffer. The powerful chemicals accumulate and make your body pay a price for being in a constant high energy state.
People with chronic anger are more likely to have suppressed immune systems.
Chronic anger can cause gastrointestinal problems such as irritable bowel syndrome and ulcers.
Chronic anger can lead to heart attacks and strokes.
Chronic anger affects your blood pressure.
If you decide that you are tired of being in a high energy state without a cause, join AngerManagementOnline.com and learn new ways to calm yourself before your health begins to suffer.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Anger Facts
Just the facts!By Kathy Garber
Anger is one of your emotions, along with happiness, sadness and fear.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy emotion that varies in intensity.
Anger is a reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned action.
Anger is considered a secondary emotion. Meaning something usually triggers a bad thought or feeling and you begin to feel angry.
Anger can also be caused by fear, stressful situations and fatigue.Worrying or brooding over personal problems can cause anger.Repeated bad thoughts over and over in your head can increase your anger’s intensity.
Anger can be an instant reaction from a single event or a response after numerous events.
Anger reduces stress and makes you feel temporarily powerful.
Anger is a learned behavior. We imitate how others handled anger.It is up to you on how you choose to handle your anger.
Do you want to continue imitating others and letting your anger fly, or do you want to create a happier place for yourself and those around you?
Don’t let anger control your life any longer.
Get started on a healthier path at AngerManagementOnline.com
Anger is one of your emotions, along with happiness, sadness and fear.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy emotion that varies in intensity.
Anger is a reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned action.
Anger is considered a secondary emotion. Meaning something usually triggers a bad thought or feeling and you begin to feel angry.
Anger can also be caused by fear, stressful situations and fatigue.Worrying or brooding over personal problems can cause anger.Repeated bad thoughts over and over in your head can increase your anger’s intensity.
Anger can be an instant reaction from a single event or a response after numerous events.
Anger reduces stress and makes you feel temporarily powerful.
Anger is a learned behavior. We imitate how others handled anger.It is up to you on how you choose to handle your anger.
Do you want to continue imitating others and letting your anger fly, or do you want to create a happier place for yourself and those around you?
Don’t let anger control your life any longer.
Get started on a healthier path at AngerManagementOnline.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)