Wednesday, April 14, 2010

There are so many anger management programs! Which class do I take?

You are right. There are plenty of anger management programs out there. The best thing I can suggest is to read through the website material. Which material feels most comfortable to you? What is your learning style? By that I mean do you like to read to learn? Would you rather listen to tapes, CD's? Do you have a high powered computer to deal with flash applications or heavy programs? How do you learn best? Personally, I am a reader. I like to see what I am learning. I also like things delivered in a simple, clean and concise manner. Others like to listen. It depends on your personal learning style.

In developing angermanagementonline.com I decided to keep it simple. There is already enough stress by just having to take an anger management class.... why add to it? My programs are to the point. No beating around the bush. We want you to get your certificate to fulfill your requirement, but we also care very much that you are successful in anger management. We use the most researched method of teaching anger management. Your computer requirements are minimal and you don't need a computer science degree to get through this class. Because I like things simple I give things to you in a simplified manner.

Those who have taken AngerManagementOnline.com enjoyed the experience. We also offer a free support group online angermanagementonline.ning.com for those who want to stay connected to our program. If you need anger management come to angermanagementonline.com and see what we have to offer. Email any questions you may have.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Most of my anger comes from an ex-spouse. How can I learn to get along for the sake of my kids?

Even the thought of communicating with a co-parent may elicit a deep sigh. Many of you can’t imagine having a conversation with a co-parenting without delving into nasty banter or button pushing. You may have tried to be rational and your co-parent is vested in letting you know everything you did wrong or how unhappy he or she is feeling both in the past and present.

It is hard to believe but many separating or divorced parents seem to relish there miscommunication with each other. The renewal of old angry feelings keeps the issue of who has power over whom alive and keeps that familiar connection going. Using negative strategies can make you feel strong and in a one-upmanship position over your co-parent. Sound familiar?

You can get into all of the “why’s” and “how’s” of your failed relationship, but it won’t serve any purpose in getting on with your life and getting into a position of co-parenting your children. You don’t have to resolve all of your feelings regarding your former partner in order to be an effective co-parent. But you do need to make every effort to communicate well. It is in your lines of communication that much of your children’s lives get lived.

Embrace the idea of good communication and keep these goals in mind when communicating with your co-parent:

1. Make clear arrangements regarding your kids.
2. Model good negotiating and problem solving for your kids.
3. Make life easier.

When communicating with a co-parent keep your eye on the prize. You are doing this for your kids. If your co-parent is in the habit of goading you, don’t take the bait. Develop a deaf ear and remember that you aren’t trying to make the relationship work any longer. You are working toward a new role of co-parent in the best interest of your children.

You can’t control the other parent, but you can control yourself. If things are heating up take a step back, cool off before answering the phone, change the subject and remember to stay out of the dance. Remember, your kids are listening.

Being a good co-parent sometimes requires putting on blinders. Don’t let yourself get riled up by every little thing. Some people are expert manipulators and they know just how to push your buttons, but you have a choice in how you respond. Talk to yourself, let it go, drop it and walk away. Tell yourself that this is not about your co-parent. It is about your kids.