Yes, the Holidays are here and for many people it can be a very difficult time of year. The question I most often get this time of year is: How can I be around family and hold in my anger or feelings?
That's a tough one because for many people holidays bring up old wounds or bad past experiences with family members. I have had people tell me that they just do not want to go to their family's home for Christmas, but they feel guilty and go anyway. Not wanting to go some place and then going just because "you have to" is going to elevate your anger for sure.
A couple of things to consider when around family members:
1. Stay away from alcohol. Alcohol brings out angry feelings and it gives you the courage to say what is really on your mind. Getting something off of your chest that has been lingering for a very long time in theory sounds good, but not with alcohol as the stimulus. Anger management classes flourish during the holiday season because people get drunk, air out their feelings or even worse punch someone who "had it coming" for a very long time and it lands them in jail, court and anger management. If you don't have the courage to say it to them sober, don't say it to them at all.
2. If going to your family's home brings about horrible feelings or past memories that you can't deal with... don't go. If something is that bad don't set yourself up for failure by going somewhere to please someone else and feel miserable the whole time. Start your own tradition. Go to a friends house. Stay home with friends and family. If you have your own kids or partner start something new and fun with them. The Holidays are for everyone and feeling pressure to be somewhere that brings out the worst in you isn't fair to you or your family. Start fresh.
3. The pressure is going to be put on your for not going along with the family tradition. That's okay. You will be okay if someone disapproves of your choice. Stay true to your life.
4. With the economy most people are not able to spend as much as they would like and it brings up bad feelings and anger. Change your thinking. Think of the Holidays as a time to give thanks for what you do have. It isn't about what you don't have. We live in the greatest country in the world. We have freedom of choice. When you go into a store there are aisles and aisles of choice. We can go any where we want to go. We are free. That is a huge gift. Thanks to our Military we are free and safe. Don't worry about what you can't do. Give thanks for what you can do.
Remember this Holiday season to do what pleases you. Stay safe, sober and thankful for all of your blessings.
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!
If you would like more help or tips in anger management come to angermanagementonline.com and learn how to get through the tough times with new anger management skills.
