Anger Is A Secondary Emotion

Anger is a secondary emotion.

Emotions are a funny thing. We all walk around with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Emotions can ride at the surface and we easily recognize them or they can remain hidden and we might not even know how they are affecting our lives.

Anger is an emotion with a wide variety of intensity. The physical effects of anger include rapid heartbeat, elevated blood pressure and increases in adrenalin.

Since anger is a secondary emotion something is usually happening first to make us feel uncomfortable. I am asked over and over how to recognize anger and I have put together a few simple exercises below that you can use to “check in” with yourself to monitor your behavior.

First, ask yourself… what am I feeling? Are you feeling happy, sad, hungry, angry, lonely, tired, shut down? Try to pinpoint what you are feeling. A healthy person has access to all of their emotions from joy to grief.

Next, try to get in touch with your emotions. We are all subject to emotions and if we are not in touch with what we are feeling we will soon become controlled by our emotions rather than us controlling our emotions. Try to figure out what emotion you are feeling. Remember anger is secondary so another emotion had to happen first to trigger your anger. Usually hurt is the primary emotion to anger.

Ask yourself questions: What am I feeling right now? If you are not sure, keep asking the questions. If you have trouble determining how you are feeling, try to describe the things that are going on in your life. Ask yourself what someone else might feel if they are going through the same experiences are you are going through.

Journal about your feelings and emotions so that you can become more aware of what you are feeling. Being able to revisit how you were feeling on a particular day can help in your ongoing process of getting in touch with your feelings.

Your emotions are an important of your life and if you are aware of what you are feeling you have put that information and energy to work for you.

If you are interested in investigating your feelings of anger, please join us at AngerManagementOnline.com where we are finding the answers together.

Your Negative Thoughts

Often times people do not know the cause of their anger. They just know that they "feel" angry, but they cannot pinpoint why or the cause of their anger. Negative thinking can be the root of your anger or at least get the angry feelings started. We all know that we should think more positively and avoid negativity........ but how??!!!

An easy to learn technique is "thought stopping." Negative thinking can be stopped by teaching yourself to stop negative or fearful thoughts.

Thought stopping requires that you pay attention to your thoughts and catch them at a relatively low threshold. In other words, if you catch your negative thoughts when they are first starting it will be much more easy to rope them in than if you wait until you are ready to explode.

Every time you have an unwanted thought; stop it immediately and substitute a positive thought. You can use a favorite phrase to stop yourself from repeating negative thoughts or a lot of people simply say STOP to themselves to shift out of the negative thoughts. The minute you become aware of an undesireable thought yell STOP IT to yourself. Take a deep breath and think of a positive replacement.

Does this all sound too simple to be true? Maybe, but it really works. You can learn to control your mind and train negative thoughts to stay away. Thought stopping is a very powerful procedure developed by cognitive behavioral therapists. It takes time to first learn to pay attention to yourself and then stop your negative thoughts, but it is very necessary to break the negativity cycle.

Don't think your negative thoughts will disappear the first time you try this procedure. You have to be persistent, pay attention to yourself and practice, practice, practice. At AngerManagementOnline.com we teach negative thought stopping in all of our anger management programs.

Do you have an anger problem?

Do you have an anger problem?

Are you wondering if you have a problem keeping your anger under control? Are others telling you that you have a problem and you don’t see it? Take a few minutes to answer the questions below to see if you could benefit from taking an anger management class.

I have been experiencing episodes of anger for at least the past 6 months.
Yes________ No ________

I experience anger much more often than those around me.Yes________ No ________

When I experience anger, my anger is:

More intense than most others _________ Less intense than most others _________
The same as most others ___________

When I experience anger, my anger seems to last: Longer than most people ________
Shorter than most people ________ The same as most people ____________

Because of my angry feelings, I have experienced:________________________

Damage to relationships with partners, children, coworkers or friends._______________
Problems functioning at work.________ Inability to handle difficult situations._________ Experiences with the court system.________ Health problems________

Dwelling on problems, worrying, guilt/shame.Angry feelings are keeping me from life goals.
Yes _________ No _________

I think I could be more successful in my life if I could have better control of my feelings.
Yes __________ No _________

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. Only you can determine if you need help in managing your anger. If you decide that anger plays a bigger role in your life than you would like it to, do something about it. Come to AngerManagementOnline.com and start learning new techniques to manage your anger.

Is anger management a waste of time?

Anger Management: Does it work or is it a waste of time?
By Kathy Garber
There has been much controversy in the past regarding anger management and its usefulness in changing old angry behaviors that have been around with most adults for a lifetime. Statistics are now starting to show the positive benefits of anger management with people who are actively involved in a quality program and practicing what they are learning on a daily basis. Anger does have a best part. The best part of your angry behavior is that you are in charge of it and you control its outcome.
You may be wondering what is so great about being in charge of your anger, after all it is causing you problems in your life. The reason I think being in charge of your own anger is a good thing is because you have the power to change it for the better. No one can tell you how to do it, you don’t need to buy something expensive to fix it, you just need determination and the desire to manage your anger. Anger management should be about you working on a specially designed program that is right for your life.
So many times people attend a structured anger management program that tells them exactly what to do and how to manage their anger. The problem with that philosophy of anger management is that one program does not fit all. Everyone’s needs are different and who likes to be told what to do or what is right for their own life?
That in itself can cause you to fail in anger management because you might not be able to comply with the program. Who is more an expert of you and your life than you are? The answers in anger management come from within you. They are there; they just might need some shaking up. If you are ready to learn about your anger, ready to make some changes that are right for your life, ready to practice what you are learning on a daily basis to make your life better; come to AngerManagementOnline.com and start the process.
You don’t have to wait any longer. No more excuses.