Is online anger management just as effective as face to face anger management classes?

Anger management classes online are just as effective as face to face anger management classes. What is important to understand is that you are doing the work in the class. The anger management class is not working for you, you are working the program. You can go to face to face anger management classes and not put much effort into making changes just as you can take an online anger management class and just skim by to get a certificate. The real question to be answered is; are you ready to work and make changes in your life? If the answer is yes, then you need to decide what type of "learner" you are. Do you like to have face to face interaction with someone or do learn better on your own going through the material that is important to you? Most people have told me that they like the online approach because they can spend time on the areas where they need the help and speed through areas of the program that aren't as important to them. Many have also told me that they like the online anger management class because they can go through the material when they are relaxed and able to concentrate. There are no parking issues, no loss of work or school. Whatever you decide, you need to be ready to make changes and then take whichever approach you choose seriously. Anger Management Classes

What do you mean that anger is a secondary emotion?

Most of us do not walk around feeling angry for no reason. Usually something happens in our day that causes us to have an emotion and if we don't take care of that emotion or put some meaning on the emotion, it can turn to anger very quickly. So what can we do about having run away emotions, thoughts or anger? If you feel as though you are having anger for no reason it is time to start paying attention to your feelings, thoughts and emotions. Tune in to yourself and monitor your feelings and thoughts. Journal. Write down your thoughts. When you sense some discomfort because of a feeling, try to trace it back to where it started and put some meaning on it. It is easier to trace if you have a journal to refer back to. For example: You wake up on Monday morning and start the normal routine to get ready for work. You start to think about how nice the weekend was and how much you really hate your job. You also start to think about your lazy co-worker who seems to pile all of his work on your desk. Then your thoughts turn toward how you are not where you want to be in life yet and you should be further ahead by this age. You should be running the company instead of your boss! You then sit down and get interested in an article in the newspaper and before you realize it you are now running 15 minutes late for work. You rush to the car without your lunch or your paperwork for the day and start racing to work. You find yourself in a traffic jam and now you realize you are going to be really late. You get to work over an hour late and sitting on your desk is a pile of work that should have been done by your co-worker yesterday, but today he has called off sick. You hit tilt and start throwing things and every time someone comes up to you that day becomes an irritant to you. You are nasty and short with your co-workers and they decide to stay far away from you today. You are just boiing over with anger and contempt for your co-worker. Are you really angry? Did you wake up angry? Are you an angry person? Let's trace this back. Take out a piece of paper and let's write down some thoughts and feelings: it is Monday (a hard day to get back into the grind for most), weekend fun is over, hate my job, lazy co-workers, too much work, should be further ahead in my life. Those are negative thoughts that are forming. If you were paying attention you might talk to yourself at this point to calm down the negative thoughts: I don't like my work, but I have a job and in this economy that is a lucky break. My co-worker is lazy, but basically he is a good guy. I will do my work and if I feel like he is taking advantage I plan to confront him and let him know how I feel. I might not be exactly where I thought I would be right now, but I am working on my goals. I have a roof over my head and I am making ends meet. I will continue to strive for my goals. This really isn't so bad. That is rationalizing your thoughts and keeping yourself in the truth and the facts. You are not allowing yourself to advance into the secondary emotion of anger. You are still having the feelings, but you are not allowing them to snowball and turn toward anger. If you would like to have more help with your emotions or how to handle anger, visit us at

How can I get a jump start on learning about my anger?

The first thing about starting anger management is you have to be ready to make some changes. You are the most important element in changing your life and your behavior. One thing that I offer for those who want to get a jump start on learning about their anger is an anger evalution. By taking the anger evaluation, you will learn how you handle your anger, what angers you, if you are chronically angry or if you are situationally angry and much more. By obtaining that information we can make an anger management treatment plan specifically for you and your needs. http://www.angermanagementonline.com http://www.angerevaluation.com

What if anger management doesn't work for me?

I get this question a lot and I always want to turn it around and ask, "what if you don't work in anger management"? Like anything else in life, you reap rewards according to what you put in and how hard you work at something.

Every human being, at one time or another, has mishandled their anger. Everyone has behaved in a way that they are not proud of and wished they handled things differently. That is all part of being human.

The key to human behavior is to look at it and learn from it. In every situation is a learning experience. Most people come to anger management for a reason. Many people are sentenced by the legal system and some are given an ulitmatum by family members or spouses. I always tell my clients that it doesn't matter what brings you to anger management, what matters is where you go from here.

You have a choice with your anger and behavior. You have a choice to learn and grow every day if you are willing. Anger management gets a bad rap because most people expect anger management to "work for them" and put very little effort into their own life. You need to work anger management or it won't work for you.

Get into a good anger management class. Or, consider anger management through a counselor or therapist. Then it is up to you to get active in changing your life. A counselor doesn't change your life. A class won't change your life. You change your life. I get many people at angermanagemnetonline.com who when finished with the program send me emails of thanks and tell me how great the class was for them. Of course I am always happy to hear of good experiences in my anger management class, but the truth is the client is the one who changes his life. A class or counselor can be a catalyst, but the client is the one who works the class and I am quick to give the credit right back to them.

Anger management does work, but you have to work anger management. Get motivated to make changes in your life. Get excited to implement new techniques and new challenges in your life. The investment in anger management gives you many good, worthwhile returns.

My child is required to take an aggression evaluation. What is involved?

Hello,

The aggression evaluation is set up for children 9-18 who are showing signs of aggression either at home or school. Some children only seem to display aggression at school and are perfectly fine at home. Others tend to be more aggressive at home than school.

The point of finding out where that aggression is taking place is to better understand and get to the deeper root of the problem. If the aggression is happening at school there could be a learning disability, problems with other children such as bullying, etc. If it is happening at home there could be friction in the home with siblings or between parents, unstructured home life etc.

The aggression evaluation that I use requires the teacher to fill out a portion of the evaluation and a parent to fill out a portion of the evaluation. With information from the school and parent I am able to determine where the aggression is happening and then work together with you to figure out a solution. Go to aggressionevaluation.com for more information.

My teen is showing signs of anger and frustration. What can I do?

We all know the teen year are very tough years. Even more challenges face our teens today than ever before. Teens have it tough.

Talk to your son or daughter. I know what you are thinkng.... "have you ever tried to talk with a teenager?" I know that talking to teens can be difficult, but I challenge you to sit down and talk with him/her. They might give you a rough time and act like they don't appreciate your conversation, but they do. Know what is going on in your teen's life. Know their friends. Know their schedule. Know where they are at all times.

Provide structure and rules in your home and stick with those rules and guidelines. Teens are secure when they know the rules. They might not always like the rules, but they do appreciate your rules.

If you feel as though you are getting no where with your teen, there are plenty of resources in your community for counseling and therapy. Teens will sometimes open up to someone other than yourself. That's okay. You don't always want to talk openly to a loved one about what is bothering you either. Nothing personal.

Or, you might try an online anger management program such as angermanagementonline.com. We have a teen class that is completely online and affordable. Teens love the online format. They like the online format because they can be comfortable to express themselves in an environment that is anonymous. No one is judging them and there are like minded people taking the class.

You might also consider an anger evaluation for your teen. An anger evaluation will get to the point of finding out if there is a true anger problem and get your teen on a treatment plan to successfully express themselves. angerevaluation.com

There is hope and help available. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Question of the Week

I want a family member to take anger management, but he won't. He says he is not angry and that taking anger management is a waste of time and that maybe it is me who is the problem. Trust me, it isn't me! What can I do?

Good question and a very tough question. If someone isn't willing to make changes in their life, trying to force change only makes you more frustrated. Working with someone who is unwilling to change is hard on families and relationships.

You might have already tried this, but schedule a time when you can both sit down. Talk from your heart. Let him know that his behavior is hurting you and your relationship and that is something you can no longer tolerate. Try not to let the conversation get heated. Stay on topic and tell him how you are affected and how much you want things to change. Play a very supportive role in helping him to understand that you will be with him through the change and that you can look at your own behavior too. Make changes together. Learning together means growing together.

For some men, who are in constant denial of their anger, we do an anger evaluation on them. You can read about it at angerevaluation.com. It is an anger evaluation you can take in your home and receive a detailed report. Sometimes people need to see those results in writing to understand the impact of their behavior. Sometimes the anger evaluation determines that better communication could solve the problem. The anger evaluation can show you the type of behavior used when angry and we can work on that particular behavior. There many different angles to work on with anger and trust me, no one wants to feel angry all of the time. The good news is no one has to feel angry and there is hope for change.

For some people who are in denial about their anger, an online anger management program is a good place to start. They remain in control and study anger management at their own pace and make changes on their own terms.

The best thing you can do tell your family member how his behavior is affecting you. Stop nagging for change. Change never happens through nagging. Be clear. Be assertive and stop nagging. For more information on this topic or help with anger management come to angermanagementonline.com and if your family member isn't willing to change, let's work with you to change so that you are living your best life.